What is my provider’s perspective of our relationship?
In general, physicians love patients who:
Stay healthy and use appropriate preventative office visits and procedures, but otherwise stay out of their offices.
When they’re not healthy, get seen early and collaborate by providing complete and accurate information during their diagnostic process, and by following agreed upon treatment(s) until they achieve their health goals.
In general, physicians cringe then they have to deal with patient’s who:
Do not respect their time. This is most commonly demonstrated in deliberately vague or inaccurate Reason’s for Visit during scheduling; the ‘doorknob syndrome’; and (most aggravating) engaging in irrelevant conversation. Time is your physician’s most valuable resource, and they are obliged to spend it frugally to help treat as many people as comprehensively as possible. They can’t afford to listen to stories about what your cat did last week when your sister was visiting.
Do not respect their education, training, and experience. This is most commonly reflected in how questions are asked by patients.
Everyone likes to feel respected. No matter what our role is in life, we like to feel that others see us and honor the work we do, the work it took to get there, and that we essentially have good intentions. Bearing this in mind, simply asking questions in a way that conveys a sense of that respect goes a long way to helping us get what we want – a trustworthy relationship and trustworthy answer.
Everyone has expertise in their life. Each of us is the only one who knows the most about it, all the varying details and inputs that inform our decisions and ways of conducting our lives. We are at our best, our most confident, capable and empowered when we feel a sense of validation, recognition and respect for that with which we have expertise.
Example: If I am an architect/house builder, I may have a client who comes to me and wants to have windows or doors or walls in various places that I know can’t structurally work or make sense. If that person continues to insist that it must be done, based on their desires and wishes, then I might become quite frustrated at their inability to distinguish between what’s doable and not, reasonable and not, possible and not. How they present their requests makes all the difference.
“Well, I saw a picture like that once in a magazine. I know it can be done. Just do it.”
That won’t go very far.
“I’ve always had this wish for a wall full of windows, and a room shaped like____ and the doors like _____. How much of this is possible? I don’t know anything about structures of houses. Is there a way to creatively work this out?”
Now that engages my intrigue, my desire to apply my expertise (that has just been acknowledged), my creativity and my want to please my customer.
Your primary goal is building a trustworthy relationship. So, that means:
Standing up for yourself by asking questions and not leaving the encounter feeling unsatisfied
Treating the practitioner with deserved respect so that you invite and strengthen their thoughtful care of your health
Remember: We coach, support, educate, and empower. We illuminate options you may not have known you had. But we don't decide what's right for you in your unique circumstances; only you can do that. And we don't provide medical, financial, or legal advice; nor do we replace the valuable counsel of those who do.